i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
