69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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