ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
