So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
