Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
