highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize