I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
