I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
