okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
