the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
