bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
