I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
