So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I understand Curling. That high.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
