I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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