ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
