I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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