you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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