I think my fart just growled at me.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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