My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
