Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
