I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
you made out with another girl for some wings
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
