I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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