You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
