Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
