i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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