these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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