I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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