just tell him i said nine months
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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