I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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