Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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