Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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