The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
