Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
