Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
