Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize