i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
