You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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