I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
