What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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