Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
