spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
