It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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