I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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