Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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