if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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