i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize