White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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