You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
