She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize