I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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