Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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