i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
just tell him i said nine months
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He shit in the fireplace
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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