I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
