We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Randomize
