I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
