I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
