I love watching others lives come down to our level.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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