He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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