we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
