god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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